people tell me (and will tell you as well) i’m on the wrong path all the time because i’m not progressing towards the kinds of goals most parents generally speaking of course had for me. i don’t own a house (or a car), i’m not married, and i’m not trying have anyone who didn’t ask to be here look to me for guidance. i don’t knock those things as worthy goals, but they aren’t for me, right now.

i’m on a different kind of path, and like anything else in life, hindsight reveals a lot — so you just can’t know if it’s the right thing to do. is the risk of following my intuition — when it runs in the face of what most people are doing or what has traditionally been fulfilling to people — going to pay off? so how do you know if you are on the right path? if you’re hearing your intuition correctly? these are some ways i try to listen to myself:

When it comes to the driving force of your path, there’s not a lot of self doubt. this does not mean your life is completely free from self-doubt, but that you don’t worry whether you’re “really” the thing you are trying to be. you don’t have to have everything figured out, and you don’t have to have perfect outcomes, you just have to feel good about the process.

You’re enjoying yourself. it doesn’t feel like constant work to be living your life. you don’t spend your days waiting to clock out or wishing you had more vacation days. you love waking up in the morning. when you follow your inner path, you’re happy. you’re not at your destination, but you’re enjoying the sights on the ride.

You consider yourself to be very fortunate. when you’ve identified and begun to follow it, there’s a sense of relief and gratitude that comes because you know there are countless others who because of their life circumstances, aren’t able to be in this awesome journey in their own lives.

You love listening to advice, but you don’t often take it. you are confident enough in yourself that you enjoy listening to advice with an open mind — you’re always open to thinking of things from another angle. but you take what suits you and leave the rest. you don’t do things because your parents tell you it’s the right way thing to do, or because your best friend is also doing it.

It doesn’t look like anyone else’s dream. if you ever find yourself saying, “this seems like so much fun, maybe I should do it!” before trying something you have to immerse yourself in this is a signal you are on the wrong path, when it’s a purely mimetic desire, when it comes as a result of seeing someone else do it.

There’s a possibility of failure. if you can’t fail, if you have the world’s largest safety net underneath you, you haven’t ventured out far enough to do anything, there’s zero chance of success. playing it safe is a form of failing — and it’s the worst form because in addition to actual failure you also have the regret of wishing you’d actually tried.